On Being Friends with Fellow Mothers at the School

I have always been attending my daughter's school activities - intramurals, scout investiture, programs, and of course, her graduation from preparatory school and recognition day throughout her school years. I take a leave from work if I have to. I can count on my fingers the time that I was not there to witness her dance, sing or recite a poem. I am always present during meetings involving school administrators, teachers and parents. I am present in school parties and get-together.

What I missed during the first few years of my daughter at school is forming a bond with the other parents or mothers of her classmates. I usually meet them during Parent-Teachers Conference or if I pick up my daughter from school whenever I am on leave. But those only take a few minutes of informal greetings and quick talks about our children.

I had mixed emotions for a particular set of mothers of my daughter's classmates. They are nice and accommodating but there were times I felt they mind everything, every little thing that happens in our children's class. Sometimes I find those "concerns" trivial. Also, more than their children, they are pressured of who gets what grade, of the one point that their children missed or could have answered correctly had the teacher been considerate. There was a time even the amount one parent spends for a costume was brought up.

But I have learned to go beyond these. Instead of branding their positions, their conversations trivial, I tried to see what learning I could get. There could be small but important areas I overlook which could be beneficial to my daughter's learning and my relationship with the teachers.

I am glad constantly meeting them on occasions I have mentioned and doing some effort on my part to keep in touch with them prove to be a satisfying experience. We share passionately anything about our children. I enjoy talking to them and hearing their stories quite familiar with mine when we help our children review for their examinations.

For a working mother like me, it pays to have even a few friends among fellow mothers in the class. We get to exchange notes when there are concerns about the school or our children's class. We call each other if there are some reminders written in our children's school diaries which seem unclear. We have someone to call when our children missed school. There is always someone patient enough to dictate assignments and at times, even photocopy the lessons even if we did not request for them.

I may not still be as close with them as they are with each other but I am already comfortable sitting with them at the waiting area whenever I could. I spend time with them when I go to my daughter's school. I don't hurry myself and my daughter anymore. It feels good that a lot of times now we also talk about things other than school. Just recently we shared different ways of preparing fried rice. I learned how to spice it up more so my daughter will look forward to having a newly concocted fried rice. These little things matter to me and they are little things which builds a better relationship with my fellow mothers at school.

School is almost over. I know at this time we are all busy with helping our children review for their final examinations. I am thankful that this school year my relationship with my fellow mothers is more productive and rewarding.