Over a Glass of Soy Milk

I am home. Hubby dropped off daughter to school and drove me back to the house and then left to attend to his business. I'm preparing reviewers for my daughter's major subjects while having a cup of soya milk (and Plurking).

Taking a leave from work was unthinkable for me then. I get so restless that I might be missing something. Things are different now. I don't know if it comes with age. Maybe not because I know a lot of SAHMs and WAHMs a lot younger than I am but they already know family life is tops. Hats off to them. The realization dawned on me just a few years ago. Spending more time with my family is my source of happiness since then. Even my "me time" takes a back seat. True, I will never do away with my own quiet time as it recharges me and puts me in great shape but my priority is always my family.

I still pursue my interests. I still have the energy to go ahead with my corporate goals but it has to be aligned now with my values, with my work conditions. I believe that one can only do great if one is happy with what he or she is doing. I am starting a business and plans are in the pipeline for succeeding ventures. This is in preparation for my intention to leave my corporate life, not yet now but in due time. I have to have a work-life balance. That's the only way I will be satisfied.

I am also starting to work on our papers for the U.S. because my parents are there as well as my sister and brother. I am the only one left here. I just want to be with them, that's my primary reason of wanting to go to the U.S. A close second, as I said before, is the benefits a first world country can give us. Does it sound like I have lost all hope for my Motherland? You tell me at the rate things are going.

Before, 'this is the life' is having a grand time with every step up the corporate ladder, enjoying the perks, being able to meet "important" people, being able to develop and contribute significant decisions for the company, being able to bring my daughter to my big office room. It made me feel good because I felt I was somebody. I won't act coy - these worldly things still energize me and give me a sense of fulfillment. But these are temporal and I need not really bask on them but make good of these experiences by paying it forward.

The turning point was when I left the organization I grew up in two years ago. That's when I realized the happiness of being able to give time to my daughter is incomparable. I transferred to a medium sized company holding still a high profile position but the great difference was I made time for my family.

I'm a mommy-come-lately. I hate to say that. But that's the truth. I am just thankful that it was not too late to build a close relationship with my daughter. I had to do some catching up that at times it appears that I am spoiling her. But it's not so. I'm a mother making amends. Sure I was there in her every firsts - first time she uttered a word (and that's mommy, mind you, when she was nine months old), every first day of school, every most school programs, her graduation (pre-school), field demonstrations, recognition day. I bathe her during weekends and when I have no work. I call her whenever I am away. But looking back, these were not enough. And maybe half of these I was in a hurry because I want to go back to work. I have meetings to preside and I have deadlines to meet. I am thinking now maybe I have not really spent quality time with my daughter. Even going to malls have to be in the precise time I scheduled it. I get so grumpy if we are late (come to think of it, is there such a thing as being late in a mall). I hate to spend my weekends just malling because I want to rest after a week's hard work. Thinking about it, maybe my daughter resented that kind of attitude from me. But all these are in the past. I'm a renewed soul who knows what matters most.

This is the life - spending quality time with my family, my daughter especially. I can't get enough of it actually. I love her to bits and she is my inspiration.

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Mood: Contemplative. This is what a glass of soy milk does to me.
Music: Nada. Just the humming sound of the electric fan.

Photo from Getty Images.